"I told my friend her engagement ring choices are too expensive, and now she's mad at me. Was I really wrong?

I guess women can answer this question, too, if you're the one proposing.

My friend told me that she and her boyfriend are in the beginning stages of talking about marriage. He asked her to pick out some engagement rings she may like so he can pick one when he's ready to propose (not for a few months at least) that she'd like. Well, she told me he gave her a budget of $5,500.00 for a ring. My own engagement ring was about $1,200. I told her not to get a ring too pricey, even if he's okay with it because that makes her look like a gold digger. To me, $5,500 is way too much for an engagement ring. My wedding band and engagement ring together cost less than what her budget is for a ring.

She didn't listen to me, and the three rings she picked are between $3,500 and $5,200. She told me to mind my own business (even though she sought out my help in picking ring out). My husband agrees it's too much, and he never would have spend that much on an engagement or wedding ring, and he makes more than her boyfriend does.

My husband actually asked her boyfriend why the budget was so high, reminding him that the wedding is super expensive, too. He told him it was because that's how much can afford not including the wedding, and he wants her to have the best. His exact text read, "$5,500 is what I can afford not including the wedding. I want to give her my best because I love her, and she deserves the best. It's a ring that'll be on her finger for the rest of her life. I don't want her walking around with a pebble when I know she doesn't and shouldn't have to. What kind of man does that?"

I think the text was sweet, but $5,500 is still too much, and she's mad that I purposely picked out ones for less than $1,000. But was I really all THAT wrong?

TL;DR
My friend's boyfriend told her to look at engagement rings for no more than $5,500. I told her that's too expensive and she and her boyfriend told my husband and me to basically mind our business even though she asked for help."

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I would value or respect a girl in inverse proportion to how expensive an engagement ring she wants or demands. I agree with you that it seems like gold digging, and it's vain, and it emphasizes the negative aspect of relationships where girls tend to objectify and use guys according to how much security and money they can bring to the table. It emphasizes the mutually selfish, transactional nature of modern relationships with each person looking for what they can get out of the other.

A girl that actually loves me generously would understand that money essentially represents liquid suffering, and she wouldn't want to bleed me dry in that way by demanding an expensive engagement ring.

However, that being said, the guy in your scenario thought equally that she should have an expensive engagement ring, so perhaps no harm no foul. On the other hand, though, maybe he was just conditioned by society to conform to such materialistic expectactions and maybe to think that his worth to her is proportional to how much he can boost her narcissistic ego by throwing money at it.